''Sometime people never get what they deserve because they keep holding things they are suppose to let go'' -Anonymous

Monday 29 December 2014

The end of 2014

Again, after abandoning this Blog for quite few month, I'm here again. 

As the title said, a few more day and it will be the end of another year, 2014. This year is a big year for me compare to last year because this year mark how I do everything on my own choice. 

•I got my first temporary Job
•meeting new people 
•pursuing study that is my own choice
•getting my car license (after 2 attempt)
•free style walk around KL 
•sadly, fail in History (WHAT?!!!!!!) 

So far, that's some of the memorable moment in 2014 that I remember. Compare to last year, this year is pretty long and ... Fill with different kind of emotion. It opens my eyes about the world a bit. I had no other regrets about this years at all (well as far as I remember)

2015's wish list!!! (>~<)/!!!!

•improve my dieting 
•healthy lifestyle 
•going on for a trip with my own car!
•getting good result!! 
•competing with Khai!
•Sport? (I really want to try one)
•improve chess!
•just have a good life basically

Well that's all for this post. Ciao2

Sunday 7 September 2014

An update of my current life: Life as a form 6 students

well well well....I've abandoned this blog for so long. I don't even recognized how it looks anymore. 
So here is it. an update of my current life. 

I'm not very sure myself did I ever post about my form 6 life. no? yes? 
Life as a form six student was never easy in the first place. perhaps it does get a bit easier for me because I refuse being in the science stream anymore. (I'm the in the humanity stream to be specific the art class)

First week experience
I really consider going to form 6 above all of the 'tawaran' given because to me, I don't have the budget to pursue study in the university (shorten the story, outside my comfort zone) 
I got matriculation (second intake) but I reject it because hell no, I'm taking another science stream. 
So I went to the orientation week. this is what happen 

*me wandering around my school canteen, looking awkward while trying to find my exclassmates*

only 2 people. TWO FREAKING EX CLASSMATES for form 6. T_T

I'm well informed that form 6 is as a matter of fact, not a popular choice. but I had no freaking choice. the UPU courses didn't interest me to one bit. 
So I and the other two ex classmates of mine awkwardly sign up and went inside the hall. 

The awkward moment was when you're from that school *like the boss* and the teacher keep pointing to us to help the 'newby' around the school when the class started. heck yeah. ;p

for my school, we're required to wear purple color uniform with black canvas shoes. and for the lower six, there's only three class. (1 for the science stream, other two is humanity stream // 1 is economy class and the last one is the art class)

After thinking for awhile, I choose Prau 3 (the art class) and sign up. we were lead by our homeroom teacher to our new class which located at a new block (block kesidang wasn't so new to me..)

Prau 3?
There's many new face (actually all of them were new to me) and I took the seat next to the window. I was planning not to get involved with any of the class activity because..... I'm kinda used to not involved? they're loud. hahaha I don't like loud

The class rep being appointed, a guy from sri muda. his look remind me of randy pangalila actually. and that is when karma strike me. I was appointed as the assistant class rep. FUUUU karma. 
but it wasn't so bad (or so I thought) and that is when my journey with prau 3 sail. hahha


The guys

the girls


New gang?

I was seriously having a problem with moving on. Being the same environment but with new peoples sometime make me a bit........I don't know how to describe it. lonely? fear?
They're nice. They're awesome but they're new people. I'm having trouble with trusting new people. but eventually (now that it had being  5 month already since we first know each other, I gradually move on and trust them)

sure we have time when we misunderstood each other and class conflict but that what make us even better and prepare for next time. The new circle remind me of bakasan (in a smaller proportion) 
we got big sis khai, little imouto ipin, loud pika, good old silly put and funny hakim. it was nice overall. 

at least I've people who had the same mind like me (not really hahah)

Study? 

So far the subject was fairly easy (but not to be taken lightly). I'm new to this stream and still paranoid about science subject. thank you. 
Every stream require to take general study (pengajian am) and Muet. This two was a bit dangerous. pretty mild. (what am I saying..)

and in my class, we have history, art and bahasa melayu. pretty easy huh? not quite true actually. 

I'm hoping the first term would be easy and I'm aiming for 3.5 at least. to get me to the save zone. I'm starting to doubt my SPM result because bahasa melayu was pretty tough for STPM. *sigh*


That's all about STPM and my form 6 life I guess. 

I'm still struggling to past JPJ. and I don't know maybe surviving this horrible world. ;ppp

Monday 21 April 2014

my honest opinion regarding beauty product

Oh another post, yes. 

sometime, didn't you guys feel...reluctant when you want to buy a beauty product but the amount of a certain product and their price didn't match really well with your income. yes, that's my problem. 

You see, sometime I want to buy a product for my skin care and the mood kill me because the price of a product was really expensive. I mean I don't mind if it's expensive if the product have a good amount in it but seriously 100++ just for a 30-50 ml??

my mom always said 'remember what anita sarawak once said 'you can't be stingy if you want to be beautiful' and yeah I agree. 

But sometime I want to buy products that I can use at least a good one month not a few day and the product already finished. crap how much do I need to spend for the other? toner, moisturizer etc

'Ukur baju di badan sendiri' 

With that, I'm grateful that some company did produce a product that are affordable and somehow fit what we Malaysian need. Most of my friends are disheartened to take care of their skin just because they are afraid the amount of money they have to spend. I wish every girl to have their confident to be pretty and at least...clean (take care of their appearance) 

that's why I always surveying here and there to find a decent product for everyone. my journey didn't end yet though honestly...I think I already find a good product.

A trip to Ho Chin Minh City, Vietnam Part 1

Did I mention before that I visited Ho Chin Minh quite some month ago? no?
So in this post, I'm going to talk about my experience to the land of....urm...I don't know the nickname for Vietnam, sorry!

My family had discussed before where we want to go for the holiday and we didn't seem to find a place where everyone agree. 
personally I want to go to Europe but dad constrict inside Asia only sheesh
Mom on the other hand had her own plan to go to China but yeah...after a long consideration with everyone, dad decide to go to Vietnam. Huh the irony because he suggest South Korea at first

7 February 2014
We packed our stuff and head to the airport as early as 6 a.m because dad had to go to his office first and park the car. parking lot provided by the airport cost us too much. damn expensive. 

My little bro (form 2) looking all tired because of the long trip from Shah Alam to sepang

one of the must thing a kid must do when getting a trolley. 
it makes me remember I've done the same too before

Currently waiting for dad to come. (mom showing off her skill to get our boarding ticket by herself)
Spot me on the back!

As expected, the international boarding place are better than the domestic one. 
and the security system are good too



me being completely absorb with the 'scenery' spot a Harrods's store. oooo 

no...the bear are not cute....hahah jk


to the waiting place! 

(hey, I don't know don't remember how hectic an airport can be)

is that our plane? no?
 


how did I look? tired right? (Jumper + non-glass spectacles = total nerd LOL) 

dad and mom with the background of toy store while we are waiting...

my passport and the ticket

finally we are inside the waiting..hmm...room? I don't remember the term.

yeah lil bro get all the selfie because I'm the photographer in any case


mom, lil bro and dad enjoying the scene (while I feel sleepy with the whole journey) LOL it doesn't even started yet

wearing the boot that I bought quite sometime ago. does chocolate match with blue pant because I feel chocolate mint. LOL

I feel you bro, we are both sleepy...T.T

wow, I love Iphone 5 camera. xDD wish samsung had the same kind of resolution too. 

off we go!

well I did feel proud of our nation airlines... (huh?)

good! at least I wouldn't be bore for the next 1-2 hour. xD

well hello there steward and stewardess, (I notice that MAS crew had change their Steward's outfit to grey)

dad and 2 lil bro who sit in the same row with us.


well yeah, peace!

I look so freaking nerd. what is with that hairstyle ahhhhhhhh




the magazine provided. 

We had to switch off the electronic devices after that so I didn't have any picture after that. I watch some old Jurassic park movie to kill some time. can't sleep because stranger are beside me. Ngee..

We arrived at Ho Chin Minh after that (I don't remember well the name of the airport)

the 'view' of Vietnam international airport. 

it's quite hot outside. T_T ugh...and here I thought I was expose to much sunlight of the year


will update the rest later because it's kinda late. I'm actually going to watch runningman hahahha dork

till the second part, ciao


Sunday 13 April 2014

I'm going to have a new start! wish me luck!

At a time like this I always wonder what I can do to make myself better, more presentable and useful in my life. And I know I've screw up my school life and friendship quite a lot. I don't know if it's healthy or not but I didn't go the phase of rebellious teenager yet .

Most of the time, people will go through this pace around 14-15 years old something but I didn't! 
Honestly, in my whole life, I've never being so obedient aka well behaved when I was 14 years old. 
though I admit I'm still immature during 13 years old because hell who changed their P.E uniform in the class!

I was quiet and lonely during 14 because I'm a transfer student to a whole new environment. To be honest, I didn't remember much of my time during that time. I know I was sad because I didn't like the new environment and I really don't have friend there and sort of..
But things change when I was 15. I move to a new school again and I develop this new character which was don't-approach-me-or-you-will-regret and that's kinda effect who I really am. The inner me.

if there's a thing that people are struggling about education, I'm pretty sure I'm quite different. 
I am naturally people who didn't succeed even if I study all day long aka study hard. I didn't do all those daily homework, studying (and most regrettable, copying notes. Most of my exercise book are empty) 
BUT yet, I manage to score pretty well (above from average) and somehow when I enter form 4/ 16 years old, I was....subject shock? homework shock? because the more I try to study, the lower my score will get. 

I remember studying for history test (which was my favorite subject all the time) the whole night and I got 74! I was awfully.....disappointed because I usually at least get A- and that's it! I had enough! I'll stick with what I call 'study smart'. I'll just focus on what was in the class and let my mind do whatever that I want. 
it does sound cocky but this is my studying problem. I envy people who actually get better by studying all day long. I can't do that! 

about friendship? Hell I was socially awkward. it takes me like few month and year to actually 'trust' that person with my jokes, my interest and so on. I used to have a best friend. really nice girl but I was rather emotional and passive person that time (I might look all bright and positive from the outside but I'm insecure about everything) and she kinda 'I'm sorry but I like to be friend with bubbly person...' and that just broke my heart. :) *sigh*

That's why I want to start a new life. I don't want to be haunt by the passive me again. I don't want to lose another friend just because I'm socially awkward. I want her to be my friend again. *sob*

She approach me again after we finished our national exam. but...I was hurt. I can never look at her the same. She stay in distance with me during the time I need her the most. SPM... 
I review most of the subject for the next exam alone during break. sometime awkwardly approach people who used to sit beside me and listen to this 'acquaintance' group of studying. It was sad. 
My whole world was pitch black during the 1 month of exam. I was force to cope up with everything alone. 

But...this is because of my incompetence. My own fault for not being able to at least being near to perfect. 
I didn't want to get hurt. That is my whole life problem. But of course, there's this person who always help me and give me advice. I'm grateful to him. I really want to trust him. but does our fate will meet again? 

If yes, I want to become more presentable as a lady, a great student and a positive person. it might take me a lot of time and consider the fact I'm not prepare physically and mentally about the whole thing. becoming better isn't easy.

I'm really putting all the burden on my shoulder and yeah carry it alone as much as I can but it would have being nice if there's anyone who actually hug me and tell me to stop. till that time come or if that time come, I want to cry and actually borrowing someone shoulder. 

P/S: song of the day!

Ikimono Gakari -Akaneiro no yakusoku (red promise)

and 

Atsuko Maeda -Flower

Thursday 3 April 2014

Personal: family of my own

Last night, I have a really...pleasant dream. 
it was a bit blurry but I know it was a nice dream. 
Some of the part that I remember is I met a little boy (who dress really nice) and he call me 'mama'.
Like we both know that I'm not really his mother but somehow I let him call me that and he too didn't mind. 
The little boy was crying. He was lost when I found him. 
I remember hugging the little boy as we somehow board on a bus. wtf? what kinda dream

I wake up this morning with a warm feeling in my heart. The dream left me a very...deep and meaningful impact somehow. it makes me wonder 
'is this a sign that I'll have a son in the future?'
or
'will my life get better when I have a child?'

I don't know. This thing is still too soon for me but I use to think about 
'What if I didn't get marry?' 'what will I do?'
I admit. I'm scare what will the society think (or at least my family) If I can't find my soul mate. 
I'm not picky but I'm not trusting someone that easily too. 



So I decided, if I'm not marrying anyone and my economy are better that time, I'll adopt a child. it might not be easy to raise a child by yourself but I'm sure that eventually things will get better and heck, I've just contribute something for an innocent child. 

and honestly, if I was given a choice between a boy and a girl, I'll definitely choose a boy. Well sure, girl can wear cute dress but personally boy are easier to take care (aside-from-their-wild-attitude)
And I always fond of the name Rihan. Idk, but that name are just sweet. xD (totally night rant)  and for girl elsa. <--rip of from frozen? hell yeah

I don't know about you guys but the idea of having child are just fascinating. I wanna to see how this little angel learn to walk and talk, struggling to learn alphabet, going to kindergarten, going to report day hahaha and finally graduating high school. 
marriage doesn't stop me from having a child. If my luck are better, I'll have a child of my own. 
Yeah that's definitely sound great. 

this definitely how I feel when I can't have a pet...TwT I just want this angel please?

Saturday 29 March 2014

Driving License??

Hello! it's me again.
I remember writing a post about me going to the driving class. Here's some more update about my new routine.
Last week, I went to sit for the law test/computer test to get my L license and I pass it on my first try! *peace sign*

I almost fail on it because honestly, I only read/memorize the sign section and some basic knowledge on the law. Here's a tip, dont forget to check out the dimeric system (sistem kejara part) because this one are important!! I really didnt memorize what is the dimeric point/the effect and unfortunately there's a lot of question come out from this section. *screw-you-why-don't-you-read*

that's the part of my second step. (first step was going to the KPP class *obviously not kyary pamyu pamyu)
The next one which was today, I went to the theory and practical class. I was sleepy during the first 3-4 hour the class (luckily the teacher wasnt that boring/he's quite funny)

He explain about the function of the car system and so on. The practical class started after lunch. (I didnt eat at the cafeteria because the owner is an indian. Not sound racist but I just cant)
Honestly, the practical class was so hot because of the temperature. We were instructed to the parking lot (which was outside obviously) and it's freaking 2 p.m *shut up you freaking sissy* well.. I have enough sunlight for a week ;p

I can feel that I'm about to vomit anytime. *dont know why...maybe the temperature?*
The class ended and we were told to wait at the cafeteria while the teacher settle his stuff. I chat with a guy who gone to the same driving institute with me. Finally someone to talk with *sob*
Done a thumb print check up and we are dismissed from the class. *fuihh....*

I reach home like 4 pm something and honestly tired. Will start my driving lesson when I got my L license. Till then I'll update about my license life <3

Next: My decision: Form 6?
Here I go

Saturday 22 March 2014

Bakasan Entry: Happy Birthday Naaad and NikNik

It had being two days already since result day had passed. I decide to share with you guys about this meaningful yet embarrassing day  of mine. will do that in the other post.

But before that, here's a little bit story about the night before the result day.

 I with fellow Bakarians were celebrating two of our best friend Nad and Nik birthday at a 24hour KFC in Seksyen 2, Shah Alam. The reason why we choose KFC was because we had to wait for Nik to finish his job and there's no restaurant or good spot for us to celebrate this two (plus, we're hungry) that are still open until that time.
Since they are sharing the same month of birthday, we decided to held a small surprise party (I doubt Nad didn't know the big square box that we carried all the way inside kfc damnit

The Cake (OMG! why did you murder the delicious looking cake! =w=!!)

Fellow bakarian looks like 80',90' people

picture credit to Naad from her instagram. My phone didn't work at the moment...

Shorten the story, Nik came and we ask Nad (that had being deceived) to held Nik back at the counter (he was going to order some beverage) while we're setting for the cake. Fuck yeah the 20 minutes surprise plan
We sing a good 5 second of happy birthday song when they came and haha that was embarrassing seriously. We finish our dinner and cake before retreat back to home. Dad drove me back home because I was band from touching the scouter. 

We still chat in whatsapp that night until 2 a.m in the morning. it was a pleasant reunion for us since Nad just got back from PLKN. A birthday surprise party + a party to celebrate before our doom result day.

My wish for this two

To Siti Nadzirah
It have being a wonderful experience thanks to you. I hope our friendship will last and wish you all the best in your life. Strive for the best to be a best Muslimah and wonderful lady in the future. Amin

To Nik-Nik
I might have being very annoying isn't? for the past three year. Sorry for dragging you with all the mess. For some reason, I can't left you alone in most situation. I hope you'll find what you were searching for in the future. Fighting! oh and also, thanks for listening all my rambling. you're a good listener! butbadadvicer

Till next time <3

Thursday 13 March 2014

Me driving?

So I'm gonna attend my first driving class this Saturday and honestly, I'm a bit reluctant because I haven't going out for awhile and meeting people aren't helping me either...
*sigh*
If only license are not important....I wouldn't have bother myself obtaining one...

I don't know what to update anymore, there's nothing new and maybe I'm just to lazy to think about anything.

Have you guys heard this song?
I've being searching for awhile what is this song title and finally I found it. 
(Yuko look good in police costume :3)

AKB48- Gingham Check!

Till some other time. 

Wednesday 5 March 2014

Me and myself

Honestly, I'm not a person that talk so much and that friendly (I'm trying but failed so many time)
that what make me move to my first point on today post

My vocabulary are full with cheesy word
Because I'm not conversing much with 'human', my usage of vocabulary are rather limited (in speaking of course) and most of the time, I try to learn how to communicate with people by movie, drama and anime that I watch which result most of the word in my vocabulary are fill with cheesy word. Not to mention, I'm a writer and most my thought are occupy with plot of a story. 

I'm not interested in many things
Honestly, I realize this about few month ago (took me long enough). I just don't see the point on doing a certain thing that wouldn't gain me anything (other than good deed or personal entertainment)
That's why if I'm interested in something, that thing must be really special (at least for me). 

it does make a bit frustrated with my attitude but sometime there's thing that we can't change even if we try. Lets be honest and face the reality. 

p/s: I decide to take a break and update because I'm terribly sleepy right now. T~T

in memory of my long hair...hahahha TAT

Sunday 2 March 2014

Monamourmylove.blogspot Give away! *cheer*

This is probably my first time writing about someone else blog and specifically about give away. 
I don't know how this thing work but here's anyway a piece of my mind and thought about this wonderful blog that I've being following for year? *didn't remember*
I've being meant to do a review on this blog for this blog for quite some time and here's the perfect moment to do it.


If you guys are into make up tutorial or skin care advice, this blog are what you guys are looking for!
The owner of the blog, Gina is indeed a very nice person. I happen to bought a stuff from her and she's a really nice person and give a good respond for the buyers. 

Give away

This is her first give away and I personally think you guys should enter it too if you guys want the awesome stuff. 
speaking of the awesome stuff for the give away, here's a list of what she'll be giving 

  • SENKA perfect whip
  • SENKA perfect gel
  • Hada Labo moisturizing Lotion
  • Enchanteur Paris All in One Whitening SPF24++ Body Serum 30ml 
  • Enchanteur Paris Light & Fresh Body Lotion 30ml
  • SKINFOOD Black Pomegranate Gel Mask
  •  COLOR COMBOS Skincare Honey Antioxidant Facial Sheet Mask
  • COLOR COMBOS Skincare Oat Antioxidant Facial Sheet Mask
  • SKINFOOD Chlorella Nose Clear Patch (Reduce Black Head) x2
  • O'slee Clear Spa Complete C-Shape Eye Mask x 2
  • DAISO JAPAN Cute Pink Case
A total of 11 item to win and why not give a shot? Not only that you guys can get a chance to win this awesome stuff but you guys get to a follow an awesome blogger. 

Till some other time, *high five*

Tuesday 18 February 2014

Song Review: AKB48: Beginner

it had being awhile since I last do a song review!
and this time I choose AKB48's Beginner 
since I want to listen to it right now and I feel hey why not updating the song review section too? TAT

Here's a video of it
this is the MV 

this is one of the many Live ver. of it

like usual, the center is Acchan and most of my favorite member of AKB are there!
Honestly, this is one of my favorite AKB48's song aside from river, heavy rotation, everyday katsucha and few more

I heard that there's another MV but the MV are rather disturbing? (I watch it and it show some of the member being kill brutally...well...it's just the concept honestly)
This is like the the other genre that AKB try to pull out like River and UZA. it's very powerful everything are just amazing and this song vibrate a strong aura. 

The lyric are good too (I really want to see JKT48 and SNH48 ver. of it though I doubt SNH48 can pull out as much as AKB48 because honestly their River ver. are disappointed)
Without wasting any time, lets move forward to the rating!

Favorite member in this song: Acchan!
Best vocalist in this song: Takamina
Member that stand out the most to me: Yukirin
Choreography: 9/10
Lyric: 9.5/10 (deep meaning dude...)
Total rating: 10/10 (this is one of the song that you really need to hear if you're into AKB)

till some other review. ciao!

2014 and whassup people?

As expected...my last update are....like...last year. *sweat drop*
this is the result when you had like 10 social network and blogger require me to write than scrolling some picture...which make me hard to update much more

Anyway, 2013 had being a very nice year and I've being through all the fun, blood and sweat for the rest of the year (Just kidding...I've being watching lots of anime and procrastinate Teehee..)

I hope that this year will be a good year for everyone (and me) and lets do some productive activity alright? 
dont joke with me...this is already February and I'm still procrastinate...

how will my result come out?

As March is nearing...
I'm sure everyone face this and especially those who had just finish their SPM exam batch 96. 
Honestly, I don't expect much for my result....gomenasai...
I admit that I'm no good in studying or maybe like...YOU DON'T WORK HARD FOR IT SERVE YOU!
just in case I cry in the future...I wanna tell my self
''it's fine...you should be optimistic and keep looking forward. this is not the end...this is only the beginning...''

I'll cry but then I'll surely try to move on...

till then I'll update and smile while enjoying my life.
hear more from me if I really had the feeling to update...LOL

Ciaos!