Personal: family of my own

Last night, I have a really...pleasant dream. 

it was a bit blurry but I know it was a nice dream. 

Some of the part that I remember is I met a little boy (who dress really nice) and he call me 'mama'.
Like we both know that I'm not really his mother but somehow I let him call me that and he too didn't mind. 

The little boy was crying. He was lost when I found him. 

I remember hugging the little boy as we somehow board on a bus. wtf? what kinda dream

I wake up this morning with a warm feeling in my heart. The dream left me a very...deep and meaningful impact somehow. it makes me wonder 

'is this a sign that I'll have a son in the future?'

or

'will my life get better when I have a child?'

I don't know. This thing is still too soon for me but I use to think about 

'What if I didn't get marry?' 'what will I do?'

I admit. I'm scare what will the society think (or at least my family) If I can't find my soul mate. 

I'm not picky but I'm not trusting someone that easily too. 

So I decided, if I'm not marrying anyone and my economy are better that time, I'll adopt a child. it might not be easy to raise a child by yourself but I'm sure that eventually things will get better and heck, I've just contribute something for an innocent child. 

and honestly, if I was given a choice between a boy and a girl, I'll definitely choose a boy. Well sure, girl can wear cute dress but personally boy are easier to take care (aside-from-their-wild-attitude)

And I always fond of the name Rihan. Idk, but that name are just sweet. xD (totally night rant)  and for girl elsa. <--rip of from frozen? hell yeah

I don't know about you guys but the idea of having child are just fascinating. I wanna to see how this little angel learn to walk and talk, struggling to learn alphabet, going to kindergarten, going to report day hahaha and finally graduating high school. 

marriage doesn't stop me from having a child. If my luck are better, I'll have a child of my own. 

Yeah that's definitely sound great. 

this definitely how I feel when I can't have a pet...TwT I just want this angel please?